The Downfall of Dating Apps: Why Matchmaking Is the Answer

It has been reported recently by The Guardian, that around 1.4 million people living in the UK have stopped using online dating in the past year. This is a big move away from something that over the past 20 years, had grown to become a go-to option for many in their search for dating and to find a new partner.

Everyone deserves the opportunity to find love and happiness through a relationship with someone special to them and to do so fulfils an inbuilt desire within us for deeper human connections. So, it comes as no surprise that online dating took off as it did. Online dating and dating apps seemed to provide the answer—somewhere to connect with potentially thousands of potential partners, so what was there not to like and why are so many people now turning away from online dating? 

Dating apps such as Bumble, Hinge, Growlr, Her and more, have revolutionised the way in which people, whether straight or gay, have sought to make romantic connections. When we first used them, they seemed to provide a simple, almost effortless way to reach out to others who are also looking for romance, whether for casual hook-ups or for a potentially more serious and exclusive relationship. We ticked the box to advertise what sort of relationship we were looking for, uploaded a photo or two and a few words about ourselves and we were ready to go. 

Dating apps typically use a fast decision-making process; a simple swipe left or right which is often based on merely a passing glimpse of the first photo before we scroll on by. We might pause to read the bio, but when there seems to be so many profiles waiting to be viewed—we can easily look to speed things up, swiping past each profile within just a second or so, to get through the process as quickly as we can, rather like the daily admin of clearing our email of junk mail. 

The downside to this swiping culture, is that we are only considering others very superficially and the emphasis will inevitably be heavily on physical appearance rather than areas of compatibility which are often stronger foundations on which we might build a lasting future relationship. Users have found the whole process frustrating, with there being a lack of meaningful or genuine connections and the superficiality of it all has become a very common complaint and a major reason for people to give up using online dating. 

What Are the Top Reasons for the Online Dating Decline?

Ghosting and Its Disillusionment Effect

The term Ghosting only came about in recent years and describes the sudden and unexplained disappearance of someone we were communicating with, typically through online dating or within a dating app. In more recent times, ghosting has become embedded within dating apps, with some seeing it as acceptable as it has become such a widespread practice. Individuals will cruise on online dating apps, moving on from one option to another, almost not seeing these options as real people with feelings, there becomes a distinct disconnect from reality for some users. However, ghosting has contributed to online dating now becoming quite a toxic environment, making many users feel utterly uncared for, unsafe and disillusioned with the whole process. It is a major turn-off and another key reason why people are looking for alternative ways in which to meet others, in a more genuine and compassionate way. Values such as courtesy and consideration still matter to us and are important characteristics that we hope to find in those we are connecting with as potential partners.

Choice Overload and Its Impact on Decision-Making

Whilst having lots of choice may seem a good thing, it can act upon us as a major distraction. Dating apps promise a large pool of daters, but this very abundance of options creates its own problems. Psychologically, when we are faced with too many options, we can easily become indecisive and anxious over the choices we make. This has been referred to as ‘Choice Overload’ and instead of us focusing on one promising option, we find ourselves in a cycle of endless swiping and ‘Nexting’, with a lack of the effort or focus that is needed on our own part and on the part of the person we are currently in touch with, to give any new relationship the best chance of success. 

Overload of choice also encourages more casual interactions and a more transactional mindset, where encounters feel meaningless for us and genuine romance has little opportunity to take root and flourish. 

Anonymity and Highly Misleading Profiles

Proof of identity is often not established with dating apps and these platforms make it easy for users to create false personas if they wish to. Motives can be entirely negative and marital status, height, age, profession, education, gender and other attributes are all easy to misrepresent on a dating app profile. Misrepresentations often lead to disappointment, or in some instances, more seriously, to real heartbreak, dating fraud or instances of physical harm. A real lack of security and transparency leads us to question everything and again, to want to leave this negative environment and to find other, safer ways to meet a new partner.

The Rise of Alternative Dating Methods

The motivation is there for singles to find a better alternative to online dating and dating apps and there is an interest in looking to the past and trying more real, offline ways of meeting others.

We may try connecting with potential partners through friends, social events, or shared interests and hobbies, and this approach can include ways of meeting others who are single. Social media platforms have also become spaces in which to connect and perhaps, as these various platforms are not focused on dating, they may offer a less pressured way for new relationships to form. However, as these means are not primarily dating opportunities and involve people who are not necessarily seeking a relationship, they may well be insufficient as ways in which to progress with meeting a new partner.

Professional matchmaking agencies, unlike dating apps, provide a far more personalised, discreet and holistic approach to dating. They look for compatible matches, encouraging both parties to focus on each match that’s presented on a one at a time basis. They also often attract those who are more serious about dating, so could be a good option if you want a potentially lasting relationship, rather than casual encounters.

What Are the Top Reasons for Joining a Matchmaking Agency?

Support Throughout Your Dating Journey and Screening of Potential Dates

When you sign up with a dating app, you will be left to your own devices and do not have the security of knowing that those you meet will have first been interviewed and ID validated with background checks in place. In contrast, professional matchmaking agencies such as Gay Relationships, will provide a personal matchmaker, there to guide and support you throughout the membership term and will have interviewed, ID validated and background checked every member, so you can be sure they are who they say they are. The matchmaker can get to know you as their personal client and is able to consider deeper values such as personality, compatibility, as well as lifestyle, and life goals when recommending potential partners to you.

The professional matchmakers at Gay Relationships are experts in understanding relationship dynamics and the challenges that can be there for all of us when searching for our new partner. They can arrange for bespoke relationship coaching with a professional dating coach along with providing you with their own straightforward advice and guidance as you consider the profiles they recommend. This sort of support can be particularly useful if you are returning to dating after a long gap.

Quality Over Quantity With Professional Matchmaking

Matchmakers focus on the quality of each and every match rather than a bombardment of options as with dating apps. They know through experience that this approach is more likely to be effective for their clients in establishing a happy and successful relationship.

Confidentiality and Privacy With Gay Relationships Matchmaking

Privacy and confidentiality are important concerns when dating and with dating apps you will be sharing your personal information with complete strangers. Also, the anonymity of dating apps makes it all too easy for some users to be dishonest and to use dating apps to exploit others rather than to genuinely find a new partner. Executive matchmakers such as at Gay Relationships pride themselves on their discretion and privacy standards, to provide a dating environment where your privacy is protected, and this discretion and privacy creates a safer environment. 

Personal Matchmaking Services Center on Long-Term Dating Success

People who choose a professional matchmaking agency often lead busy lives and do not want to waste time on typical dating apps which may well be driven towards more casual and fleeting connections. Matchmaking services tend to attract people of a professional caliber who have clear life goals, working best for those who are more serious about finding a life partner. The client base is likely to be considerably more exclusive than typical dating apps and in becoming a member, you could be gaining access to others who will align more closely with your own lifestyle and aspirations.

Whilst dating apps seemed a simple and straightforward way to connect with other singles, their shortcomings as a way of meeting a truly compatible partner, have become all too apparent as the years have gone on. Today, we are seeing a marked drift away from dating apps and a consequent uptick in interest in the services of professional matchmaking.

If you are looking for a same sex relationship and would like to find out more about how Gay Relationships could work for you, then get in touch with us today. We would be delighted to talk with you about how we might be able to help you find the one you are looking for through our affordable, professional matchmaking services.