When you find yourself back on the dating scene it is incredibly important to approach it with care. Too many times in the past gay people have been targeted because of people’s prejudices and ignorance when it comes to dating. Predators such as Stephen Port, who drugged and murdered four young men in London after targeting them through Grindr is one shocking example. The police at the time were heavily questioned about homophobia being an ‘accomplice’ to the barbaric crimes. So, taking responsibility for keeping yourself safe is paramount and here are a few tips to help you stay safe while looking for ‘the one’.
Do your homework
If you plan to use a dating app or site do not just except the profile to be genuine. With over 10% of online profiles being fake you really do need to make sure you investigate the person by revisiting questions and facts that they have told you in messages or calls. Often, they will not be expecting you to do that as most people just except what they are being told, within in no time at all you will be in a better position to see if they are a fraud.
Use Video Chat
With everyone now used to communicating through different platforms after the pandemic, such as WhatsApp, Zoom, Teams, Webex, and FaceTime to name but a few. It is so important to make sure you are using these video platforms to ‘check out’ your future date before you meet them in person. It is a terrific way for you to see if they look as good as they did in the picture and to see if you have a good vibe with them. The voice can sometimes lie, but body language and eye contact can soon give you little signs that things are quite as you first thought.
Google your date
Before you meet there are so many ways to find out that little bit more about your prospective date. An amazingly simple thing to do is to google them - find them on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, the list is endless. In doing this you will be in control of what you are finding out about your upcoming date and not just relying on what you are being told.
Always have your first date in a public place
It is so easy to get whisked along with the thought of romance and intimacy, but for that first date it is so important that safety over rules your sexual desire. If somebody is asking you to meet them at their home, then alarm bells should start ringing. Having someone cook a beautiful meal for you is a lovely thing, but definitely something for later in your relationship. For a first date, keep it public, fresh, and fun.
Always tell a friend
I know this advise is as old as time, but it still seems to be one of the biggest things that gets ignored. Sadly, this happens more often in the gay community due to people who have yet to truly come to terms with their sexuality and partner preference keeping their dates a secret, therefore telling nobody. It really is so important that a close friend knows what time you are meeting, where you are meeting and will call you after 30 minutes to make sure everything is ok. Find My Friends is also a wonderful way for people to be able to look out for you.
Never feel obliged to stay
If after a brief period of time you start to feel uncomfortable and that things are not going along the way you envisaged, never feel obliged to stay. Your instinct has always looked after you up to now, so do not discard it when you are in a vulnerable situation. Just because you feel the need to stop things and leave it does not mean you have to do it rudely – anyway, it is your choice, your body, and your decision. Better to do it in a public place where you can leave under the safety of other watchful eyes.
Make sure you plan your journey home
It is a clever idea to plan your route home from your first date. It sometimes seems the easiest thing to travel back with your date, especially if it has gone well. You may feel that it will put them off if you turn down the offer to travel back with them but taking control of this moment will show your date that you are a confident person and will enhance their desire to see you again.
Our promise to you
Whichever dating site, app or Matchmaking service you use, always check to see how they are working for you and protecting you. At GR we recognise the trauma and pitfall’s that the gay community have had to face and unashamedly face it head on. We believe your safety and privacy come first before anything else. Everyone of our members is verified through a system called LexisNexis, this is used by the Police, Banks, the government to name but a few. It checks for residency, solvency, bankruptcy, and recent criminal activity, giving you the reassurance and confidence that you can not only go on your dating journey to find love, but also to do it with the knowledge that we are keeping you safe.